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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24366013">circling</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Relvich/pseuds/Relvich'>Relvich</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>i've forgotten how to see, i've forgotten if i can. if i open up my eyes, there'll be no more going back [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>FanganAcademy Discord Roleplay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>BIG unreality yall, Character Undeath, Compulsion Magic, Fangan Ronpa: Fangan Academy, Fantasy AU, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Reality Bending, Reality manipulation, SO, how you do, its really very sweet i promise, saving someone from what is essentially permadeath, void, yknow, zalgo - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:42:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,977</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24366013</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Relvich/pseuds/Relvich</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>ever on and on you continue circling... circling. .  .   c i r c l i n g .  .   .</p><p>no. not ever, not forever. there are HOLES in your WEB and if it is the last thing you do you are going to find out why.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chun Meilin | Merlin Chun &amp; Sasaki Rin (Fangan Academy), Ono Junpei &amp; Sasaki Rin (Fangan Academy), Oshiro Honoka &amp; Sasaki Rin (Fangan Academy)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>i've forgotten how to see, i've forgotten if i can. if i open up my eyes, there'll be no more going back [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1723066</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Crossover Collection Party</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>circling</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComposerEgg/gifts">ComposerEgg</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>happy early birthday i love u,,,</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You. You are nothing, but at least you are. A tiny, tiny thing in the midst of the vastness of <em>everything, </em>but you are.</p><p>A nothing connected to the web of everything as flyaway strands touch and echo and live and breathe in your head, as baby spider thoughts find their way to you on the wind, and you can’t turn that part off. But that is how you know you Are. There are strings and strands in a cocoon around you and it gives you shape because if you are connected then you are There. You don’t… necessarily <em>matter, </em>tiny thing that you are. But you are there and you Know Things. Not like Truth, <strike>that’s not you that’s not your job</strike> but -</p><p> </p><p>Hm. There it is again.</p><p>There… <em>what </em>is<strike>n̶̫̿'̷̤̒t̷̲̀…?</strike></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <strike>Ì̶̡̯͓̰͕̘͕̲̭T̶̢̛̠̼͕͎͙̣̻̫̞͎̜̭̙͈͖̀ͅ ̸͙̼͌̎̆̒̀́͘͝İ̷̛̗͉͔̭̪̙̙̼̩͎̍̌̈̅̆̄̅̈́͂͗͋̇̚͝S̷̛̺͛͋̄̍̌̎̅̉́̈́̀̈́͌͐̈́͊͘ ̷̛̮̲̜̦͎̓̉͑̈́̏̓̃̾͂̿̄̾̋ͅN̴̙͘Ö̴̧̤̣̟̰̥̐̊̏̓͝T̴̙͔͙̭̩̹̤̹̬͙̠͈̘͉̈́̈͛̂̑̿̑͋̐̏͋͋̆͗̈́̇̅̚H̴̨̡͕̳̭̮̪̥̠͍̮̘̥͒̓͂͐́̄͝͠ͅͅͅĨ̷̡̨̹̠͓̝̩̮̤̰̪̯̰͓͚͔͔͛͜͠N̴̫̮̠̯͉̅̂̊̑͛̉̚Ğ̷̛͕̠̱͛͗́͋̏̓͊̌̃̃</strike> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strike>You are nothing, but you Are</strike>
</p><p>Something.</p><p>It’s <em>something.</em></p><p> </p><p>It’s the something <em>plaguing </em>you lately because you shoulds̷̟̕ḩ̷̄ȯ̵̖u̵̳̓l̵̯ḍ̷̂n̴͍͋’̴̗͗t̷͔̿ Know because you Know Things but most of all you Know Yourself because you. You are tiny but your tininess is embodied in the Spider, in the WEAVER and your domain is the mind of others but <em>especially </em>your own,</p><p> </p><p>And there. Are <strong>h̶̳͕̓̏͒̓o̵̢̢̨̩̝̦͈͌̏̏̅̎̈͝ͅl̶̟̩̝̂̾̋͒̿̆̅̋̆̊ę̷͎̓̃̎͆͛͂̍̇̾͘͝s̷̗͎̹̖̼͇̪͋͋̓̿̿̈́̄̈́͒͗͗</strong>. In your <em>w e b .</em></p><p> </p><p>They started small <strike>and stay that way they were two feet tall</strike>, high fives aimed to nowhere, staring into space somewhere that isn’t, <strike>there is a door in the main hall and you cannot see it but still you TRY</strike> and, and, and, and,</p><p> </p><p>And you are speaking to Honoka and you feel like you should ask after someone’s health but that doesn’t make any sense because because <em>because </em>between the two of you you see your friends most often because she is wrangling…</p><p>wrangling…</p><p>
  <strike>problem cases</strike>
</p><p>“Merlin? I’ve lost you, is there anything wrong? That’s some strong confusion.”</p><p>“<strong>Do you mind if I weave?</strong>” There is POWER biting back between your teeth and behind them but it is Not Yet Strands outside of your own mind,</p><p>“Of course not.” She says. This must be progress, in her mind,</p><p>In her mind,</p><p>You dive.</p><p> </p><p>And you <em>find.</em></p><p>or. you don't.</p><p>
  <strike>THERE ARE HOLES HERE TOO</strike>
</p><p>
  <strike>They are the same shape,</strike>
</p><p>“Merlin… what?”</p><p>You barely answer, implant a thought, implant,</p><p>When you line up the thoughts by the holes there is,</p><p>SOMETHING</p><p>not there but it is there but it is not because it Cannot Be because it,</p><p><strike>they</strike>,</p><p>aren’t?</p><p>“<strong>We’re missing something.</strong>” <strike>someone.</strike></p><p>“<strong><em>…Someone.</em></strong> <strong><em>It’s</em> - that’s -</strong> <strong>th</strong>e shape of a person.”</p><p> </p><p>You. You <em>are. </em>But there is a Nothing inside you, the holes, if you look into them for too long you might fall in and slip and then what you Are will be What You Will Not Be, and,</p><p> </p><p>There is a hole in your room. Physical. There is something there that isn’t but is and it is fuzzy and you cannot touch it.</p><p>
  <em>But Honoka Can.</em>
</p><p>She hands it to you and it is as silken as you in your grasp and it,</p><p>
  <strike>wrangling... </strike>
</p><p>
  <strike>problem cases</strike>
</p><p> </p><p>‘Noka’s Problem Case Club ;p</p><p> </p><p>is what it says. it’s a ribbon.</p><p>the emoji at the end is not a part of it but it was added in purple pen in your own handwriting but you don’t own any purple pens <strike>you want to. You Should. You Have Stolen Some From Them</strike></p><p>
  <strike>and the nickname gives you an emotion you do not, <em>cannot</em> understand but you cry when you hold it for the first(?) time,</strike>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strike>when you gather your friends now it always feels like there is someone missing even though, there never, was,</strike>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strike>when you get permission to LOOK there are still. <strong>HOLES.</strong> </strike>
</p><p> </p><p>You can’t even think about it for long before getting dizzy but it’s the only thing you think about because,</p><p>When you look into your own mind you See,</p><p>You UnKnow because,</p><p>the webs,</p><p>are <em>breaking </em>but things are making more and less sense you are Missing Someone that was</p><p>Never <strike>Always</strike> There</p><p> </p><p>“Ugh, it’s almost like the <em>universe </em>is stopping us from-” you’re venting to your boyfriend before you <em>stop</em></p><p>
  <em> <strike>the universe, REALITY. IS NOT. <strong>YOUR. JOB.</strong></strike> </em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em> <strike>truth rings where you cannot hear where nothing can hear where nothing is you are not nothing because you ARE but there is SOMEONE in the NOTHING</strike> </em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“Right. Right, it’s…”</p><p> </p><p>You are an insect you are too tiny for what you are about to think but</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The MIND</p><p>IS <strong>YOUR</strong></p><p>
  <strong> <em>DOMAIN</em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And you are TIRED of it being VEILED in LIES</p><p> </p><p>“It. <strong>It is.</strong>”</p><p> </p><p>and when you scan around the courtyard as if you can See It, Know It, Reality <strike>it is not your job it is not your <em>place it is NOT YOU </em></strike> your eyes do not skip over the cabin that was not there before because it</p><p>was <em>always </em>there before and it doesn’t make sense why it wouldn’t be it’s in the middle of two others how could it not have been there</p><p>
  <strike>It is Still Not There, not-there, NOT THERE there is nothing THERE</strike>
</p><p>But there is and there isn’t but you walk over in a daze and</p><p>There is no name on the door except,</p><p>Except,</p><p>And you shouldn’t go in because it is a hole just like the ones in your head and it will claim you just like it claimed-</p><p>It claimed-</p><p> </p><p>
  <strike>Ḯ̶̛̯̭̘̱̻̲͉̜͌̀̕ ̶̻̯̈́̽̀͠T̴͎̜͇̿̃̕͜͠͝ ̷͉̟̼̩͕̱̉͊͒̐ ̷͉̭̼͉̈́̇̍̀̈́͛̓͜C̵̠̳̮̣͖̈́̓̂̈́̅̌͝ͅ ̶̖͓̖͐̊̈́̊̚L̴̢̖̗̮͠ ̵̲̜̫̥̈́ͅÀ̶̝̪̮̦̙͍̆̊̃̎̇̍ͅ ̴̞̈́I̶̥̳̜̝͕͛̃̏͒͆̓͠ͅ ̵̭͍̘͋̈́̈́̈͑͘M̸̡̧̫̥̣͋͑̈́͆͛̿ ̷̥̺̥̝̹͙͛̿̚ͅĘ̶͕͈̲͙͇͆͗̓́̑͘͜͠ͅ ̷̘̱͈̥̼͂̾̚͠ͅḐ̴̬̺̗̗̻̘̼̀̀̍̈́̑́͛</strike>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Someone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strike>friendfamilytruthrealityprotectorfriendfamilytruth-</strike> </em>
</p><p> </p><p>You open the door.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>R̸̲͖̾̾͋̎͠I̸̼̟̠͖̟̗̣̩̦̥͖̥̰̙͋͋̾́̽̉̓̎̉̀̿̅̄͌͐͘͠͠N̶̨͖̹̞̮͖̭͔̜͓̝̺͎̲̞̽͜ <strike≯̨̡̗̗͉͕̯̳͉̘̦̙͑̈́̉̔̌̈́̃̈́̈́̃͂̇͌̕̚͜S̸̡̨̡̞̞̰͚̰̳̜͋̎̎̍̽̄͒́̒͊͊̓̓̀͘A̷̢̲͇̺͔̫̱̫͖̗͕͍͒̈́͋̇̔͆̑̋̓͆̒̉́͑̽̕͜͝S̷̡̖͍̙̣̦̝̈́̓͒̊͑͛̑͊̉̆͒̚Ǎ̴̢͕̦̟͈̞̥͈̗̜̭̩̮͙̰̆̂͆̇̋̐̕Ḵ̴̣̦͎͈̠͙̠̳̙͇̥̯̝̩͈͋̍̑̚I̷̞̲̔̈́</strike> ̶̨̧̥͚̲͚͕͙̓̐̽̋̓̓͑̓͋̒̕͠͝͝O̸̧͕̪͎͉̗̥̼̞̬̼̯͛̇̄͗͗̑̿̈́̇͊̇̾̑̅͝͝ͅS̴̛̹̱͔̯̻̹̦̟͚̦̻͒̑̐̎͒͋̒̿́̽̐̐͠͠H̵̡̢̳͎͓̘̰̞̦̭̻̰̤̔̅̈̉̐͜͜I̸̡͕̲̩̪̥̝̮̿͋̇͛̌̄̔͋̌̊͝R̶̡̺̲͕͍̀̍̆̄͊͑̊̆͋͌͂͛̀̈́̿̄̚͠͝͝Ơ̵̦̟̬̘͙̯̝̟̩̗͊̍̂̑̓͊̍͐̽̓̈́̃̈́̆̅̒̔̚̕</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>There is nothing there.</p><p>There is <em>Nothing </em>there.</p><p> </p><p>There is </p><p>
  <strong>N̶̥͉̘͕̂̋̉̓̉ ̸̬̠͌̃͂͛̎̐̀̓̎̿͒͘͝͠Ò̴̡̺̟͕͙̣̩ ̶̛̫͍͖͓̮͔̗͕͑͛̒̑̔̊̑̒̔̊́͆͗͘T̸̡̨̧̬͈̜̠̝̮͍̥̻͕͍̈́̾̆̿̏̌͑̂ͅ ̷̪̀̽͆̋Ḫ̴̥͌̾̊̆̓͐͗ ̴̡͔͖̬̲͓̜̜̟̮͋͌̏̄̐ͅĮ̶̦͚̺̝̲͙̇́̌͒̒ͅ ̶͉̣̮̬̰̈́͌̂̊́͋̈́͊͊͠͠N̸̯̱̳̺̳̯̗͔̗̽̉͒̍͂͘͜͝ ̸̡̮͐̀̍͐̚͝Ĝ̸̨̫̣̙͍͙̫̬̇̂̅̅́̇̆̎̽̉͂͘̕</strong>
</p><p>There.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nothing but cobwebs that are not you that are not Of You and air too still and yet,</p><p>There is. Something. There, a life was lived here <strike>a life was lost here but you cannot lose what you never did have and, <em>and-</em></strike></p><p>So you pull your friends together, tugging gently on strings and gifting imagery of a house <strike>un</strike>lived in but blank and empty canvas and dust like snow and even so the room is so silent, so static and unmoving you are not compelled to sneeze. you are guiding them to one of the holes, you know this, but you are all tied to REALITY and while this place is unstable, you…</p><p>you do not know what you are about to do. but you are about to <em>do it, </em>and you know once you begin there will be no turning back until it is over, until you are either consumed or</p><p>Something…</p><p> </p><p>is <em>different.</em></p><p> </p><p>They show up together, those to whom your siren call sung, a dragon and an angel and you take their hands, drag them inside, watch them wonder together at this impossible thing that is here and they are Here and <em>They </em>are <em>Not</em>, and you -</p><p>Explain what you Have to Do. you are staring down eternity on a chessboard you cannot even see but all of you deal in things that cannot be Seen, in Thought and Mind and Emotion and you. you are tiny. but your Silk?</p><p>your Bonds?</p><p>Those are all you need. Those are enough</p><p>
  <strike>you hope, you hope <em>so much </em>that they will be enough and you don’t even know what you are hoping for,</strike>
</p><p>you reach inward, into your own mind but also into the minds of your friends, layer all of the gaps overtop of each other. you have done this before, but you have never done what you are about to do now.</p><p>You…</p><p><em>Pierce </em>the stack of them, <em>years </em>of memories, pin them in place as you weave, as you sew them together, define the element missing, the missing variable, the <em>seam,</em> push them together into something coherent and it is <em>still void, </em>and.</p><p>And.</p><p>That void <em>goes somewhere </em></p><p>It goes Nowhere.</p><p>And that’s where you have to go.</p><p>you. can’t.</p><p>But you can cast a line.</p><p>You. <em>do.</em></p><p>And - you’ve tried this before, throwing a random strand of silk into the gaps, but it never went anywhere. Literally, it didn’t go Somewhere because it went Nowhere but it didn’t even reach quite that far because. the strands - they didn’t <em>snap. </em>you are familiar with snapping strings, you have been tied to the dead and dying and you know what a light snuffed and ceased tastes of in your web.</p><p>
  <strike>often of prey.</strike>
</p><p>but this wasn’t like that. every time you’ve sent power to void it’d… <em>corroded, </em>decayed, left the sickly sweet dust behind that curdles your blood curls your toes clenches your <em>teeth </em>because it’s <em>wrongshouldn’tdoesn’texistwrong</em></p><p> </p><p>This time though?</p><p>
  <em>This time it’s different</em>
</p><p>This time, the string pulls taut.</p><p> </p><p>You are quick to weave more, throw in woven <em>tapestries </em>of nets that are intricate and made to ensnare made to blanket made to <em>protect </em>because you can <em>feel </em>your opposition, the weight of reality is making itself known upon your shoulders and you nearly collapse where you are clinging to your friends’ hands but you <em>will. Not. Fall. </em>They are with you. They are behind you, they are a satellite to your efforts, they hold you up.</p><p> </p><p>You. <em>Cannot. </em>Fall.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Someone is in there and you can feel them on the other end and this is the <em><strike>millionth</strike></em> <em>first time </em>you’ve ever felt them and all you know for sure is that you need to hold on, need to <em>pull, </em>need to lead them out There Is A Them To Lead Out, Now, and you are pulling and dragging and fighting tooth and nail against the coin that is Void and Unreality and Reality and What is Real but you don’t know if you can do this and, and, and,</p><p> </p><p>and,</p><p> </p><p>the someone grabs on and</p><p><em>pulls </em>and the desperation and the POWER AND SUDDENLY</p><p>YOU ARE NOT NOTHING BECAUSE YOU ARE AND NEVER HAVE BEEN</p><p>BUT YOU ARE <em>SOMETHING </em>BECAUSE <em>THEY ARE</em></p><p>
  <em>THEY </em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>ARE</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>AND WHERE ETERNITY TOWERED OVER YOU AND YOU WERE NOT WORTHY TRUTH</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><strong> <em>E C H O E S </em> </strong> <em> IN YOUR WEB</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>AND YOU KNOW TRUTH AND THAT IS NOT YOUR JOB</em>
</p><p>
  <em>BUT IT IS ENOUGH</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>IT Is </em>enough.</p><p>
  
</p><p>…it is enough.</p><p>there is a bed that wasn’t there before.</p><p>there is a person in it that wasn’t there before, and you,</p><p>you are holding on, hand in theirs, sometime in your reverie you had moved closer, stepped into their space <strike>they are here they <em>take up space</em></strike>, tied together with web that is <em>visible, tangible, but.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>but they <em>were </em>there before.</p><p>they...</p><p>the bed, them,</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Rin.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>They open their eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey ‘Lin? What. The <em>fuck?”</em></p><p> </p><p>And your laughter, when it comes, is tinged with hysteria and <em>relief </em>and manic joy because <em>they’re here they’re back you can Remember</em></p><p>You Remember.</p><p>And you collapse on top of your friend, feel their mental protest that you do not lay to rest just because,</p><p>they’re <em>safe </em>now, there is web bandaging the void and you are safe with them and they are safe and <em>you </em>are safe and you just - <em>you just -</em></p><p>“I just played a game of chess with the universe, I think. And <em>won.”</em></p><p>They huff, huff at you. And you smile so hard your cheeks hurt <em>you missed them so much there is a them to miss now <strong>but you don’t have to</strong></em></p><p>“Leave that to me, I think you’re about to pass out for like, a week.”</p><p><em>“Fuck you,”</em> the answer is immediate. Comfortable. You are as home as they are, now, tangled together with one of your best friends safe, in a safety net, but oh. Oh, you’re so tired, and you taste in their mind that they are even moreso.  “But yeah, uh, I think, I think I’m gonna pass out now.”</p><p>“Oh, big same.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <strike>…you are out before you hear them, but it is okay, because you Hear them anyway, entangled as you are.</strike>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strike>you sleep.</strike>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strike>and with your friend by your side, your mind sewn together, put to Rights,</strike>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strike>you Rest.</strike>
</p>
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